The Sound of Silence

Lately it’s been a struggle to speak no matter how hard I try. The thoughts in my mind get lost in translation by the time it gets to my vocal chords. It feels like the words are being held hostage and in prison in my mind. Being on medication that amplifies that feeling does not help. It causes me to feel more anxious and depressed. Leaving me feel isolated and alone. I tried being vulnerable with people in a small group at church by having to share my testimony and my story. After I thought my anxiety and depression would disappear but it was the total opposite. I’m not sure if it’s because of the medication or the fact the death anniversary of someone in my life is coming up or if this is the new me. The new me from my addictions. Although I know I’m not alone and God is always with me. It still tends to get lonely. I try my best to not isolate myself even when I really want to. I still try to show face but even when I’m surrounded by people I’m back to feeling empty. I feel trapped in my mind all day and everyday with no feeling of escaping. Even during this trial I still trust in God and find hope in His promises. He restored me once and I know He can do it again. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time.